68 days since surgery, not much better, numbness and irritation the same

Since not much has changed, I wanted to copy and paste an email that I wrote to a friend of mine from a previous place of employment. I thought it was quite succinct and explained how I felt at this time in my life. So here it is, as written.


The surgery was relatively easy to go through and endure. My wound has healed quickly from the surgery, but the nerves have not healed much. It is going to take a long time to become “normal” or at least as close to normal as possible. It could take a year or two. I am fine with it because I was expecting a lot worse and made myself ready for it, but people around me are surprised when I remind them of where my body is and what to expect from it. I am also not quite the same person. I think I have become more irritable and separated because of the experiences and the my inabilities. I am trying very hard to fit back in. People (my family included) are used to normal surgeries where things are well healed in a few months. I have to continue to do PT like activity to keep my body mobile and able to function. I make it sound bad, but all of it surrounds my right leg and the lack of feeling on the right side of my body. I can get around on it and can drive but I cannot do any of those things or others as well as before. I think I severely underestimated the effect that the loss of certain motor functions and a little added tingling could have on my sense of well being. Oh, and the meds make me quite irritable and unable to tolerate any shit from anyone, force me to have zero short term memory and make me very sleepy all day. The surgery has really annoying from that aspect and has caused a lot of small, but consequential issues that are material to my quality of life and of those around me. These will get better with time, I am sure. It has thankfully not affected my work, at least from my perspective.

Other than that, I am shuffling between CLE and TOL once a week. I get to work from home one day a week, so I take Friday, leave for home at 6 AM and start work at Toledo at 8:30. It is easier for me to drive early in the morning than later on in the evening when my legs are tired and the nerves are jangling. I spend the rest of the weekend here and then head back to CLE mid afternoon on Sunday. We have found a house in Westlake next to the Rec center, and should have possession around the end of this month. We will still have to get some work done to the house and move in around the end of September-ish. I will then have to work on this house to get things cleaned up and moving. So a lot of work to be done and lots of people to still work through but excited about all of it nonetheless. Moving is such a pain!! 😛

As for work, I love it so far. It is exciting and challenging at the same time. It is truly different to work for a company with so many people who have been with the company for so long. The corporate culture is strong but they know that they need to become more agile. I am constantly learning, plotting, planning and executing and my boss is with me 90% of the time. It is a great feeling to know that you might be able to make a big difference. “Maintenance” or Operations in Software Development is a very new concept and larger companies are not geared for the type of quick changes required and the dangers that be might be faced with such expectations. I am working on building new relationships here. We are hiring like crazy but trying to be respectful of the people we hire. Exciting times!

So it has been worthwhile, but it has cost more than I had budgeted for it. We are going to be happy in the end and thats what matters the most to me. I could not have seen this coming!

59 days since surgery, nurse says wait another 240 days

I spoke with my nurse practitioner today (with her stand in really, she is on vacation) and they told me that I should expect this sort of a recovery (slow) for up to 6 months. My feelings and pain sensations are not uncommon for a surgery of this type and I should expect to recover very slowly for another 4-5 months. Nerve recovery is very slow and he was not worried about what I was going through. As long as there are no spasms and there is no nerve pain, I should be fine. I should also notify them if there is a sudden loss of motor functions or sudden onset of very severe weakness.

It made me feel a little better. I totally forgot to ask what Jennifer had asked me to ask them (about getting a new prescription) but I am hoping she can do it tomorrow.

In other news, I am trying on three new pairs of shoes, at different times. The Asics 2170, the New Balance 927 and the Brooks Beast. All from Zappos, thank you very much. I LOVE Zappos.

The 927 stood out instantly. They are comfortable to wear, ugly to look at and were my instant favorite. Then I tried the Asics, which I liked the feel and look of. After that I tried on the Brooks Beast. The Beast was the worst of the lot and I felt the pain that is common. The Asics has stood at the front of the line and I have been wearing them ever since. I will continue to break them in this week and next and we shall see at that point. I have a bunch of shoes to return and I will try to find the New Balances in Black from Toledo. The Asics are on my feet right now.

My dad went fishing again today and he sounded very happy. I was very happy that he was able to go out and enjoy himself. He needs to do that some more. When he got back home, he was missing Lucien and so he went out and played with him, which sounded like so much fun as well. I miss being home.

I wonder if I passed the ITIL test?

Went to physical therapy today Jonathan wanted me…

Went to physical therapy today. Jonathan wanted me to get into the pool for some aquatic therapy. Feeling much better after it. Not much in terms of recovery, but liking the pool and the exercise.

On another note, the electric shocks through my right leg to my right foot have increased over the past week or two. I am getting them all the time now, about 1-2 every couple of hours. They used to be 2 at a time. Now they are 2-3 at a time and stronger. I will be calling Ann (my nurse practitioner from Dr Edward Benzel’s office) tomorrow and talking with her about it. It might be related to Lyrica. I will know soon.

The stiffness generating from excitement or worry/anxiety is still there. It was strong this afternoon before the test I had to take at work. Still don’t know if I will pass it with my wooziness from the medication. A word of advice, if you are on this concoction, namely full dosage of Lyrica and Baclofen, don’t try any memory exercises! 🙂

Bitch about Spotify

So Spotify, why the hell would you sign up me for Premium on the Andriod app without asking me? Do you think I am an idiot?

Stop being a sleazeball. It is not becoming of a mature app or a mature system. Improve your product to attract customers and keep them.

Here is an idea, extend your Andriod Radio idea with a thumbs up and down on your desktop app so people like me, who prefer Pandora to Spotify, will actually pony up the dough to get your Premium Service.

When you do that (or better), and quite being a fucknut, will I switch!